You have heard them all before if you follow sports, but are they true? Let’s see.
1. “Defense wins championships”: No, actually teams and individuals win championships. Besides, Bill Belichick has actually proven that cheating, not defense, wins championships. And he also shown that when it is the most important game of your career, and you do not cheat, you choke, er, lose. Geez, what a shame.
2. “Most games are won on the practice field”: I do not know if this is true, but, painfully, I know where the most games are lost, uh, that would be Philadelphia.
3. “White men can’t jump”: OK, this one is true. (Just do not tell Dick Fosbury).
4. “Good pitching beat good hitting”: Actually, even bad pitching beats good hitting — even good hitters get a hit only 3 times out of 10, that means the hitter is actually getting beat 7 times out of 10. As usual, flawless logic.
5. “Our athletes do not use steroids to help them perform better”: Yea, right, and I look away in disgust when the dancers come out to perform between quarters at a basketball game.
6. “A boxer should abstain from sex when he training for a big fight”: Not true — he should have lots of sex (it raises his blood testosterone level) — just not at the same time as his sparring sessions.
7. “Golf is not a sport — it does not requires any athletic ability”: Apparently, this has just been proven –some golfer, who no one has ever heard of, recently won the US Open with a broken leg.
8. “The hardest thing to do in sports is hitting a baseball”: Actually, the hardest thing to in sports is to avoid getting hit by the baseball. I mean, you have so little time to react when the pitcher is gunning for you.
9. “The quarterback is the most important position in football”: No, silly, the center is the most important position in football because the quarterback would never even get the ball if it was not for the center. No football, no scoring (unless you are Tom Brady who seems to score too much for his own good).
10. “The team that wants it the most is going to win”: Usually not true — the team with the most talent is going to win most of the time (unless it is soccer (football), then the team with the better penalty kickers are going to win because they just had another exciting 120 minute 0-0 tie game again!).
By: Mark Hauser